Last Post: End Game & Out...

I am wanting to explore the line between reality|truth[?] that is: what is sharing and what is ego; what is telling and what is just plain old drawing attention to oneself; what is noise and what is silence...

...and after much thinking on this, I am pretty convinced that most of 'modern-day [read: The Internet] sharing' is nothing but drawing [or attempting to draw] attention to oneself, one's business, one's self-created awesomeness [be it retold with an "Ahh gee, look what I did---you really think I am great too?  Gee"  bent or in the intense thumping, SilverBack style, of and on one's chest] or one's thoughts [which are masked as 'what do you think?' when it really seems to be 'agree with me or else']...

in any case, a lot of self-absorption.

From Me, as well.

I think Warhol got it wrong by 2 minutes.  It isn't 15 minutes of fame, it's 17... if you have a blog and/or Twitter account [and most everyone does].

But no more.

I liked it all better when few knew, most didn't care, and it was all small potatoes.  Po-Ta-Toads [as Chloe would say].

I learned [still learn] a lot, made great lasting friends, great acquaintances, ran the gamut and gauntlet, but it's time to go away... and keep learning, listening and growing: just like before but without so much of me attached to the Me in Me/without so much noise from all the great warbled voices of everyone vying for something, what-I don't know any longer, but some Thing.

We, as a family, are shooting for a small, teeny-tiny life, far off and as invisible as possible from this EEEE-sized-Lectronic World: a place and space where I work on trying to not want nor need anything more than what's directly in front of me [baby-steps, some concrete, my wife, daughter & life].

A friend once suggested, "Close it down with some Thanks and lots of Apologies", so here goes:

Thank You, All.  Thank you all very much, and profoundly so [even the dislikers & haters too].  I've learned something from all of it.

And yes, I am very sorry for any & all offenses... be them truthful [where I took well-aimed shots] or be it the ones that were built upon the dark human foundations of wanting more of something I could ever participate in or need or call my own [wanting to connect with so many folks that it was driving my soul mad], I am sorry.  I have a hopeless side to me that wants to change people [the World] in equal proportion to changing myself [and it's called -I'm pretty certain- Ego].

And -again- I am very Thankful for all this place has done and shown me.

That's it... this journal stays for those seeking some solace for a process & journey [or to laugh -or rage- at me placing my foot in my mouth squarely, or me joking and some not getting it, or me not joking and some getting it], warts & all.

We're off & out to new things both small and low-key.

Here's to small & low-key...

my electronic netometer is now in perma-off-mode [blog, Twitter, all of it], but please do know-

Thank You for allowing me to share all that has come to be in the last few years,

Peace & Goodbye-

-Scott [LFoaB]

Keep Ridin'... Always

Comments

[Joan]

Sorry to see you go but wish you, Amy and Chloe all the best. Thanks for making me laugh, making me think and making it an adventure to read your posts. Now, go have some fun!

[Peter]

I might not have commented much, but I've greatly enjoyed your blog. Partly as a fellow fat bloke on a bike, and partly for the sheer richness in the ordinary.

You've been an inspiration, in a number of ways.

Keep ridin'. Hopefully with a tailwind :)

[Alan@EcoVelo]

Good luck and best wishes for a happy life!

Alan@EcoVelo

[Hal Stevens]

What? No final weigh-in. Good lord--please tell me you didn't go on a binge and gain it all back.
Seriously, I've enjoyed your blog since 320 lbs. Thanks for sharing.

[bryantp]

Scott - I'll miss you. You were and are a great inspiration. I've lost 40 pounds so far...about 35 to go. Naturally, did it by getting back on my bike and snacking on your great hummus recipe.

Do well by yourself and your family and come back and visit anytime.

[ThomG]

Luck, man. You are an inspiration.

[Nate Houge]

Good for you! Thanks for your writing and thanks for your courage.

[Casey - A fellow LFOAB]

Woah, I'm a bit sad as ever since the Trib article I've been reading and following. Please let us know how things are every once in a while. Please?

[jat]

Your blog has been a most excellent ride. Thanks so much for writing, and enjoy your life.

[Elmer Carlson]

Go in Peace Bro,
you made a difference against the machine!
We will all keep riding a little longer because
of your courage and accomplishments.
With all respect,
Elmer

[Robert]

I agree the internet can be a big "show and tell". Is there anything in the world more boring than Twitter? Ashton Kucher???... YAWWWNNN!! LFOAB...tiny yawn.
It can also be about connections...in a good way. You've connected with many. Keep writing...somewhere.

[Justin]

I'm sorry to see this go. I've enjoyed your story, but also simply reading a more (for lack of a better word) mature bicycle blog. Thanks for the great posts and best of luck in the future!

[Drew Sanson]

Best travels to you and your family. I feel like I've grown to know all three of you so well. This is very sad in all truthfulness. Your blog is one of the very best. Honest, insightful, taking us all along on your amazing adventure. Always thoughtful and bluntly told, not many can claim the same as they are always trying so hard to be witty and gain acceptance. You told it like it is. That's a rare man, an even rarer human, in my estimate of both Men and Humans.
Leaving this up as a resource for all to use and share in? Just another example of what a truly one of a kind and classy person you are, LFoab.
If I ever get to meet you, I assure you, it will be one of the finest days of my life.
Many deep thanks to you Scott!
Deepest Regards & Utmost Respect,
Drew Saanson (Norway)

[Carlsson]

Scott,

I'm sorry I only discovered your blog recently. You are an inspiration! Weight is not my main issue, but I've got my own demons. Your story showed me some hope. Check in now and again ;-)

Carlsson

[Will F.]

NO! There's got to be a petition, a recount, a new vote somewhere. This isn't right. I love this place, don't do it man!!!!!!!!!!!! Since following your story in the Rivendell Reader I have lost 72 pounds, found so much more meaning to my life and way of seeing that life, and have become addicted to riding my bike all the time. No man, do NOT take away the honest truth and struggle of you doing it the right way, the right and HONEST way! please reconsider this Scott?? I can only go through the old entries so many times before I will need something new from your life perspective. Please think this decision over? Come on!
I respect your decision but man I am going to be so disappointed to lose a real blog speaking honestly about a real life. Either way, I owe you so much for all you've done for me and my life and I would bet there are a lot of people that owe you just as much for showing them to never give in, never let go, never give up.
You're a real life hero to me, Scott.
Will Fenhorst

[Paul]

Good on ya. I've been reading you even since the pre-LFOAB days (the Atlantis build story on CGOAB). Your life journey has been nothing short of incredible to follow from an anonymous distance. I wish you and your lovely family nothing but good times and happiness. Take care.

[Peter]

The end of TBBE (The Best Blog Ever). Shit. Read about you in The Reader and was totally blown away by the story and the man it was about.
You got more coal in your furnace than 777 Lance Armstrongs bro. Huge props to you for having the nuts to just say enough and walk away from the mess that is Push Button Society.
Godspeed bro, Godspeed!
Pete

[Harry H]

I've enjoyed the blog and look forward to meeting you in person one day. So swing by the shop on a Saturday when you're down my way.

Thanks again,

Harry H

[Jeff MacDonald]

Its funny.. not 2 days ago, did I delete my own blog, flickr account, jaiku and all that. I almalgated it all into facebook, so I can share things with my friends I've made in real life, instead of just random site-visitors.

You are so right about how so much of the net is fueled by ego and "hey look at me".. I LOVED the "agree with me or else" statement, it's very accurate. [aka e-penis]

Stay on the bike, keep Chloe and Amy peddlin' and have a great life!

[Brian]

I will lay money that there is a book coming.....Anyway, I will miss you/your blog. I have been reading since I discovered the Altlantis build story back in 2006. Much peace happiness and success in all you and you family do.

Regards,

Brian

[fatguy1966]

Good on ya man...

I am going to miss this place and all you brought to it.

Keep in touch,

Fred

[Steve]

Heh I find your site the day after you close it. Guess its like showing up to the prom a day late. Wanted to say hi from a fellow journeyer. Trying to head down the weight loss road with nothing but my bike and wanted to tell yah that your journey will help me to keep going. it shows that it can be done.
GL Steve

[Judd]

Thank You
You put it all out there for every one to see and you inspired. I know I am not you (you are not me), but we have a lot of points in common and I would like to think that I can see where you are comeing from / going to, from where I am. You have marked the trail, for your own reasons, I know you did not set out to do this to say "look at me", but as you stop to take a break, if you look back you will see a lot of overweight guys huffing and puffing on overloaded squeeking bikes and straining tires thundering down the trail behind you (kinda scary).
So take a break, think about what you have accomplished (and the unintended consequences) and think about (if you want to) where you could lead us from here.
and Thank You

[Matt]

Good decision! I'm sure you'll keep on pissing excellence quietly - I'll try and do the same.

[FatBob]

Scotty boy, glad to have met you and (cyberspace wise that is) the family, and glad to have learned from your story(ies). Enjoy the simple life, for there really is nothing more.

[BiggerDummy]

Scott:

I enjoyed the blog for a while. As a Phat Cyclist myself (and Dummy owner too) I have taken inspiration from your perspiration. Know that you still motivate me every day as I try to drop enough stored fuel to fit into the size 38 Swobo knicks I bought from you. "I piss excellence" prominently affixed to my Kleen Kanteen as well.

Enjoy the peace and freedom.

[Paige]

What a day for me to finally decide to de-lurk and say that I spotted you around town.

I first heard about your story as a member of the Dr. Fuhrman boards. You were still out east, and had such a story.

A few years later, I found out that you had moved to Portland with your Xtracycle, just like me.

I had expected to see you around, whether on the road, or at Clever Cycles, or somewhere. And I finally saw you at Safeway, buying lettuce and bananas. I was confused because Chloe wasn't with you but then I went outside and there she was, waiting.

I hope life treats you well from here on out and I hope to catch glimpses of you around town from time to time.

[Susanne]

Too bad. Just discovered your blog and really enjoyed it. I completely understand your arguments (it almost made me close down my blog immediately). But on second thought: I think a lot bloggers do not want to show their ego or say: look at me. I think they want to share and maybe they just love to write. Mabye it's something like this: happiness is not real unless shared (Chris McCandless).

The question is: who (and how many people) do you want to share it with?

Anyway, reading all the comments: think you made a lot of people happy.

Grtz,

Susanne (Netherlands)

[geargirl]

Good! Go live the life, Scott, and love it all. So happy to have met you through cyberspace. You're lovely peeps, and I know y'all will spread your goodness, with or without the e-version of the web. After all, we're all connected, and I'm sure I'll feel the tug of your good energy all the way up here in WA. Go enjoy the Northwest—The sun's coming, and you'll be blissed out like a native in no time!!

Best to you and your better halves,

geargirl

[Ictus]

Doooooooooood, where will I get my rage on anymore! You need to write a book (or 2 or more). You do have an interesting point of view and say it well. Here's hoping you'll return in some form in the future.

Ride On!

[Stevy]

Cheers mate, thanks for the laughs and inspiration.

See you at PBP.

Stevy

[CSB]

Understand EXACTLY where you are coming from. Thanks for everything, and knowing someone who started where I started could finish it, keeps me working (slowly) toward the finish line every day.

There is freedom, real true freedom, in breaking the Intertnet chain. Amazing, wonderful, beautiful world outside of a LCD monitor freedom. Embrace it, and ride on.

Ben aka csb

[Krystal McManus]

lost a friend

- that sucks

even if you were only an online friend

- that sucks

I wish you ALL the best, but I still wish you were here

[velomann]

They say (well - I said it, actually) reality is the new twitter. I'll miss the blog but I applaud the spirit of the decision. Seems to me you had quite the interior life not so long ago because that was the only life your body would let you live. The new lease means you're out there now - literally. A life well-lived beats virtual reality every time.

But beware the all-or-nothing philosophy as well - you have made connections with others who have grown to care about you; occasional updates would be appreciated, I'm sure.

This town is small - let's make sure we keep bumping into each other, both intentionally and accidentally.

[Pedalwest]

Well, I'll miss reading your words of wit, wisdom and worldly cycling diatribes. But Scott, keep writing. That is a gift, and you're just plain good at it. I've read your blog from the beginning - through all your worries, moves, and all the weight you lost. All the adventures. All of your family's joys and sorrows, and I've enjoyed "watching" little Chloe grow up, too. Take care of your family, my friend. They love you. So do your readers. Keep ridin', but throw us a bone every now and then and let us know how things are going. Thanks for the hummus recipe, too. The best.

Peace out, bro.

[lemmiwinks]

Fair weather and following winds to you Skinny Fella on a Bike.

[Jay LaPree]

Good luck to you. Thanks for the blog and the inspiration. Enjoy your life and your family.

[Paul]

One last post with the LFOAB hummus recipe would be quite fitting (I don't remember seeing it on here before).

[sk]

I'm going to miss your blog Scott - thanks for all of the writing and the inspiration.

[Kent Peterson]

This is excellent news! Now you'll have so much more time to devote to that other blog, the one you write under the pseudonym of Bike Snob NYC.

Oh wait, I may have said too much...

Seriously, as the dying kid said in the Outlaw Josie Wales, "I'm prouder than a game rooster to have rid with ya."

Keep riding, always.

Your pal, Kent

[Maria M. Conley, JD]

Seriously, so sad...I will miss LFoaB, but please continue to write, even if only on paper, with pens/pencils/crayons. Your words will be meaningful for your daughter to read some day. You are truly an excellent writer. Be well--Maria in Minneapolis

[Shaun]

Keep ridin'... Always!!!

[Ron]

A wise decision. Best wishes.

[dave]

Ahh, man, I used to see you and your family outside the Blue Moon Cafe. I never said Hello. I wish I had. I thought, I can read this Cat's stuff on his blog--so it didn't really matter to me when you moved, I was psyched to read about your new adventures.
Oh, well, all things run their course. You have inspired me and certainly made me think on stuff a lot. Take care.

[Alex Lockhart]

I, too, have often struggled to find the balance between sharing and ego in my off and on writing. I never really made a big, conscious decision to stop writing as you did, but I also never came close to the volume of writing and listeners that you did. But I have found myself writing (and talking) less and less, and reading and listening more and more. I think it's a good change for us both.

One last thing for you to ponder as you enter your hesychasm:
Bhuddist philosophy says that desire is the cause of pain.
Early Christian (Eastern Orthodox) philosophy says that goodness is not the acquisition of virtue, but the loss of self.

Alex

[jody]

Hi Scott this is your sister inlaw Jody.How are you hun? I have been following this for sometime as well,just never commented on it.Ive learn a lot about you,my sister Amy and my niece Chloe from this page.:)....thank you for sharing your life with me!!!.Iam very proud of you.I really am Scott.Your daughter has grown so much,I cant believe it.Such a beautiful young lady she is.I hope to someday see you three.Like soon ok!!! Take care of yourself and your 2 ladies.I love you guys(pls pass it to Amy and Chloe ok).take care and enjoy the world.
Love,
Jody

[Tim]

All stories have a beginning, middle and end. LFOAB has been the story of your weight loss and associated events (becoming "more you" than you used to be, in the process). Thanks for sharing yours with us. There will be many more stories in your lives over the next decades. Enjoy every minute you can- even the hard minutes!

[ghostgum]

Scott, you missed a final weigh-in in your final post. Thanks for sharing your journey. It's your choice how much you make public or private.

[Dan (Madison, WI)]

Scott,

Like some others who have commented, I first started following you with your Atlantis build story on CGoaB. I still think that is one of the best stories on CGoaB and is the perfect narrative that describes the lust we cyclists have for our bicycles and bicycling. From there I admired your Bob Brown build story and photos and finally LFoaB. I enjoyed reading of your personal journey and small details of your supportive family. Congratulations with the weight loss. Have a happy future.

[Paul R.]

Scott -

This comment is late, it's been a while since I've visited - thanks for everything. I didn't always agree with you, but I always enjoyed reading your take on things and appreciated your honesty. Best of luck to you...

[CStubing]

Just a random guy who read your site a few times here... Just wanted to say thanks for being an inspiration. I started commuting by bike last year, and count your story as one of my motivators.

[Jeffrey McMahon]

Congrats on the weight loss and the good blog layout.

[Perry]

Scott,

Well, I have been out of the bike scene for a while and stopped by to see what you were up to. So now I know. I wish you all the best on your ever-continuing journey.

[Katesel Strimbeck]

Well since your story is in Bicycling magazine I imagine I won't be the only one posting.
I am really stunned, impressed, heartened and just want to say thanks for sharing your story. I am laughing because sometimes I whine about riding 20 miles and I am in great shape. Puts it ALL in perspective. All my best to you and your family.

[Hal]

Thanks for doing the Jan/Feb 2010 Bicycling Magazine article. It's great to see how Chloe is really sprouting.