Large Fella on a Bike

$98.00 for 6 Feet...

I rode precisely 6 feet onto that Bridge and the fine is -also- precisely $98.00.  16 hours and 42 minutes earlier a cyclist,  Virginia Heuer, the sole bread-winner for her family & producer of ads for the Target corporation, was hit-n- killed 5.7 miles away from that bridge by a guy in a car.  No witnesses were present and he said, "She came out of nowhere" [referencing the frontage road he was on, that has a stop sign that separates that frontage road from one of the most cyclist-friendly streets in the Twin Cities, Summit Ave, and crosses over a well-marked bike lane] and he was released with no citation, summons, anything.  His word against a dead person's.  Of course, as cyclers it's an unfortunate and well-known fact that folks in cars while drifting thru, or [occasionally] completely stopping, or barrel-assing thru stop signs primarily look for... other cars, not cyclists.  But lets be fair and level-headed here, he mighta had a cup of coffee, been in a heated cellphone call with his Mrs. about the dry cleaning or when to scoop up the youngin's from school or been texting his favorite paid text service like ESPN Sport's Tips or Free Mail-Order Chinese Brides.  One of a million things... and hey, how can you truly blame someone for having a short attention span, when driving a car is not only a seriously expensive undertaking but boring and mundane as heck?  I would also bet BIG, his whole life has changed [whether he gets off free or gets slapped with a $500.00 fine].  I feel sorry for him, but more sorry for the life he snuffed and that woman's family & friends.

Also interesting is this:

How do I teach Chloe this kind of bizarre perspective?  She knows about the recent rash of Cycler/Motorist-Wins-All deaths around here, and her daddy's brush with the Police.  And she immediately asked me & Amy, "Wait a minute buster... some thing's wrong here.  Someone kills someone on a bicycle and walks away, and my dad doesn't see a sign and gives his license to the policeman when he didn't have to, and that gets us a $98.00 fine!?!?!  That's more money than my piggy bank will ever have!!  That's just not right, we gotta do something here mom & dad... the world is getting ginormously freaky these days!"

And she's right.

So, tonight, she's in the bath playing with her Barbie's and plastic Army men collection [she has them fight one another for "World Justice"-as she calls it, and the Army men always lose] and I am pondering these options:

A.  Pay the fine.
B.  Pay the fine in pennies on the El Dumbino w/Chloe in tow and fotograph/video the whole thing for the public.
C.  Same as above but: fight it in court and lose [I'm certain] first.
D.  Not pay the fine, lose my driver's license and take a serious hit [over time] on my credit report [and not be able to get a driver's license anywhere, and either drive -the few times I need to- illegally and take the risk that comes with that] or have Amy drive me [on those times I must get somewhere via car].

That's all I can think of so far.

I broke the law for sure [I checked the signage, it says "Bikers, Walk Your Bike"... I just didn't see it, bummer], and then I really screwed up by doing something instinctive from what I was taught as a youngster: show your ID when asked by law enforcement [and that's the one I really wish I could have a Do-Over on because I could have just said 'No, don't have it' and bullshitted a name and mailing address].  But I'm -also- glad I did the stand up thing regarding my ID because hiding & bullshitting isn't the way either... it seems too much "About Me & My Interests" and less "Big Picture-All of Us".  Somehow I'd be less bugged if I could separate what has/was/is taking place around here lately with cyclers getting run over by folks who either flee the scene or just plain get off.

And I want, desperately need, Chloe to see something bigger out of this.  If jail were an option [I called and asked, it isn't] that's the one I'd take in a second [the absurdity would fit perfectly]... but it isn't so I am left really bothered by all this.

Some things are wrong, some things aren't fair... and some things are just plain ridiculous: these seem to be my choices for how to proceed.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Detained by the Polizia...

Rode to The CRC yesterday with Chloe & Amy, had an excellent caffe & chat with Bro Ross & Amy [while Chloe befriended the rest of Lyndale Ave]... and as always, an equally excellent in depth 24.3 second convo w/Hurl Ives & Kelly.

Rolled back home with the girls, kissed them and then rolled out solo.

Many miles, excellent, miles, many, more, miles...

Started thinking, 'Time to go home, Homey... ' so I looked around, realized I was north of Dinkytown, and routed a course due south on the GPS chip that resides in my brain.  And headed in that direction.

Rolling thru the University of Windesota, I came upon the Ped/Cycler bridge and noted that the out of doors bike lane was closed [with chainlink fencing] and quickly spied a sign that cyclers were to take the interior walkway.  So I did.

What I didn't do was, see the signs that said "Bikers, Walk Your Bikes".

Upon entering the walkway at a blistering 5mph, with my headphones on [listening to some new sweetness from Kings of Leon], I saw no one, anywhere.  All of sudden, about 20 feet ahead of me two very young looking bike cops came out from behind a concrete pillar with their hands raised toward me.  In a moment of cyclering solidarity I thought they were waving so I shot them a brotherly 'Satan's got your back' hook-'em-horns.  Oddly they kept their hands in the upfront/out front position... so I shot them a double 'Satan's got your back' but they only kept those raised hands and quickly upped the ante with both of their hands in a kind of "Stop, you're under arrest/Das vont entre zee Czech Republic vithout zee proper papers" gesture.  So I checked up and dismounted.

After removing my headphones, I asked what was up and was informed I had broken The Law.  What?  Yep, you broke the law son... and that's a problem.

I was asked for ID, and as I produced it [the two cops were completely shocked by this and muttered, "First one tonight with ID"] asked what I'd done.  I was informed that cyclers had to dismount and walk the length of the interior of the bridge.  I mentioned I hadn't seen the sign for that, they both shrugged as Cop #1 began pulling out his summons book.

As I was being written up the following dialog ensued:

Cop#1 [to Cop#2]: "This is cool, we've bagged 11 before him... this makes number 12.  By the way, since you're here, what's your badge number... you know, for the summons"

Cop#2 [to Cop#1]: "I don't remember.  Where can I find it... it's not on my badge. [laughs] Remember, I'm new?"

Cop#1 [to Cop#2]: "Damn man, you gotta memorize that sorta stuff.  Check your card, it'll be there"

Me: "So, how about a warning?"

Cop#1: "Sorry sir, the boss says 'Hit 'em all... no exceptions', so I have to write you up.  By the way, judging from your license, you're not a student here, right?"

Me: "Correct.  This is completely asinine, I'm the first person that has shown you ID, I'm being compliant, and I cannot get a warning?"

Cop#1: "Sorry, the rules are the rules"

Me: "Well if you're hitting me with a ticket I'm grabbing my phone for some pics... I'm getting a blog entry out of this"

Cop#1: "Sir, while by law I cannot prohibit you from taking my photograph, I can ask that you do not take it, please"

Me:  "Will I get another ticket if I do?"

Cop#1 [in a complete animatron/monotone voice]: "Sir, while by law I cannot prohibit you from taking my photograph, I can ask that you do not take it, please"

Me: "Okay, be right back... need to grab my phone for the pic"

Cop#2 [to Cop#1]: "Man, he's like the nicest one so far tonight... seems like everyone wants to give us crap.  His bike and lights are really cool"

Me [overhearing this]: "Yeah, but not cool enough to get a warning on a missed sign, on a completely empty bridge... oh sorry, with the exception of you two hiding behind a pillar conducting your little sting operation, almost empty"

Cop#1: "Sir, you broke the law.  I do like your lights a lot though."

Me: "So when did you guys get off the McCain campaign trail anyway?"

Cop#1 [to Cop#2 who looks confused by my remark]: "Don't engage with the detainee"

Me [after snapping his pic]: "Wow, we're having a serious moment here.  By the way, how much is this crime gonna cost me anyway?"

Cop#1: "Sir, I am not a liberty to speak to that topic.  There is a number you can call..."

Me: "You guys look young... do you get credit off your tuition here at The U by moonlighting at this gig?

Cop#1 [to Cop#2]: "Don't answer that."

Me: "Rolling on Trek's huh?  You'd think in the Number 2 city for cycling The University could at least throw down for a couple Surlys."

Cop#2: "Is that a bike?"

Cop#1 [quickly]: "Do NOT engage the detainee"

Cop#2: "Sorry"

Me: "Yeah, they are bikes"

Cop#2 mouths 'Thanks' at me while nodding.

Cop#1: "Here is your ticket and driver's license sir, have a good evening"

Jammed my iPhone taking the pics with an incoming text that came in at the same time [a text from Chloe saying "I miss you, mommy and me are at home waiting for you.  Ride Safe!  We love you!!"] and never got the cops face.

...the Net Total of a ride through the USofA's #2 City for Cycling [that, oddly, also has had 5 cyclist fatalities -from cars- in the past 2 weeks with only one summons issued to those motorists involved].

Keep Ridin'... Always

The Bike...

Starting @ 501 pounds and heading down to its current version of 190.8 pounds [yeah, I cheated and weighed in early, again]...

And thus it begins: BBBB in our apt back east, delivering my ride, putting the finishing touches on it after building it up... I sat in the chair [from which that foto was taken] as my knees and back couldn't hold my weight.  Bad Times, but Change was in the air [and lots of fear too].

Done.

First Version 1.0 [still at Bob's shop before heading east]... I had Bob swap out the risers for M-bars [1st couple pics above] on a last minute whim, hated them though and they were ditched immediately for the risers.

B.67 goes [too wide], enter B.17... same stem but went to bullhorns.

Back to risers w/bar ends [and stunningly ugly too].

Back to bullhorns...

Moving to Minnesota: New Chapter begins...

Nitto Noodle bars... first drop bars since riding as a teenager, getting more fit & smaller, can bend more too so the old riser stem goes.

First Minnesota Winter is on the horizon...

...and what a winter it was.  Studded tires, fenders out/slush & crap in.

Spring is coming...

New upgrades coming as well...

New drivetrain & wheelset, Berthoud fenders, new cockpit w/Nitto lugged stem.

Ditching the Brooks for a WTB "Pure" and my first leap into clipless w/Crank Bros. EggBeaters.

Starting from where I began: the Nitto M-Bars are now extremely comfortable.  Go figure.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Happy BirthdAy ,, Daddy!!

My dad is turning 45 years old today !!  not his favorite number though.  He tells my mommy and me this every day,  mostly.  Im proud that he's gone through all this      I can't believe that's he's done all this, and made his life, my life and mommy's life so good.  He   survivedwhen everyone said "No way, Jose!' 

He's truthful, he's smart, he's brave.  His mommy was smart, so he's smart too. She helped him a lot,like he helps me and mommy and I know he misses his mommy because she got sick and went away to the sky, and I never got to meet her, my grandma, but I know she loves me and watches out for me, daddy and mommy.  All the time.  Too 

Sometimes I get upset with him too.  He hurries me really quick before bike rides, and makes me feed my fish and my cat, even though I usually forget.  Or want to forget.  Also, he likes to talk a lot and sometimes I can't even remember what I wanted to say while I wait for him to finish.  And sometimes he talks over me and that gets my goat!

I'm amazed by my daddy.  I love my dad and he loves me too.  And even though I haven't seen his mommy I still love hertoo.

When I watched the slideshow about my dad, I cried.  I never knew he would die, I just knew he was my dad.  So, I'm glad he's here, and everyone was wrong about him.My dad can do amazing things and he always surprises people a lot, bUt  Iam not so surprised that he showed all the people who said he wouldnt' make it.    My dad is FIERcE!

I'm pretty much squeezed out right now talking about him so,

Happy Birthday DADDY!!!!!!

          Chloe Avala cutshall age- _8!!

Home->

[at least for now].

2 inches from departing for Northern California, 300 yards from leaving for PDX [with no gig and no housing]... then it hit us, hard-like a ton O' bricks, "Lemons to Lemonade/Life is what You make It, so go make Some".

Minneapolis.

So we are here, and here we stay [until everything, and I mean E V E R Y T H I N G is in place in Portland for us to be Portlanders].  And that means: A gig w/housing set.

Okay, a few things:

1.  Portland and your rental BS.  Shame on YOU.  I spent all day Friday cold-calling listings out of CraigsList.  What is this absolutely silly, fleecing, crapola of "Move-In Fees"?  As a life-long renter, one who has rented in and among the meanest streets of the Renter's Kingdom, NYC... I say to you, "Eat &^%$".  Fees, deposits for a cat of 500 to 1k when your listing says "Cat's Welcome!", out of state renter's holds that are non-refundable... basically a $660.00 rental that would set us back 2400.00 dollars to enter the front door w/keys in hand??  That's total & complete jive.  J I V E.  Diggin' that, okay once again then... J.I.V.E.  You ain't New York City sweetkins [no matter how good your coffee & cycling is... you are NOT The Apple].  You and your renter policies need a well-placed slap upside your collective head.

2.  San Fran Bay Area... [and this isn't your fault] but us, US, residing in a building called "The Allegro"??  Come on.  Greco-Roman faux fountains in the lobby?  Can I see me hauling the El Dumbino thru that amid "Terry, Todd & Tad"?  No, I can not.  "Plush amenities that include deep shag carpet, romantic views of The Bridge, an electric fireplace in every unit... ".  Come on... where's the real in your Real estate?  Keep it real.  Your apartments [the ones offered to us from Amy's travel nursing agency] look like something from a Dallas & Knot's Landing reunion.

3.  So... until it's set in stone, we're home.  Knee deep in snow, ice, whatever... bring it on.  I got game.  I got more game than a Mountain Dew-soaked LAN party with forty-five 15 year olds holed up in a basement littered with spent shell casings from Domino's.  Slam me with all you got Grandpa Winter, you aren't stopping me.

4.  The de-stressing we feel as a family is ginormous.  So, after all those frustrating calls of Friday, and knowing we were mere hours away from hosting our last "Going-Away Party", Amy & me simply looked at one another, laughed, and said, "Change of plan... The party gets re-themed to "Staying Here Party".  And that, was that. 

And it was a great time too: between plastic horses getting fireworks plunged into their nether-regions and ignited, a few derbies, many laughs, vegan chili & french onion soup for all [but me], home-grown hot peppers/tomatoes & beans as gifts [Danke, Fred]... we realized we are beyond lucky to have all this.

Portland will be there when it's ready for us.

Me?  I'm getting my Winter Game-Face on with a Pugsley and some Lake Winter cycler's shoes.
Chloe & Amy?  They are heading to a sporting goods store Monday bright-n-early to buy new ice skates.

We are out of here on the 30th for something less pricey [so we can actually have some bread instead of living 'Rent-Poor'] and sure... there's no job right now either [Amy resigned and they can't take her back as they are having an 'Employment Freeze"]. 

But hey, where there's a will... there's a way.

Throughout the last [nearly] 3 years, I've certainly learned that much.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Getting my Ukraine on->

Since I put up yesterday's Zip-Locked Goatee entry I have been hit with requests for a mugshot fotorial.  So, for those that have inquired via LFoaB and email: a set of mug shots from the past 2 years & 9 months...

Sans "Wisdom Goatee" [Helga Tzechekovich: my 89 year old alter-ego from the Ukraine emerges]...

Think I'm gonna get Amy to grab some liquid testosterone from work so I can start rubbing it on my face to get the hair back speedy quick.  Urgh.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Zip-Locked Goatee...

Whoa...

so let me figure this one out: Started at 501 pounds in November 2005, made a pact that I wouldn't cut the hair on my chin until [or if] I could ever possibly make it into the 'one hundred & somethings', few people thought it possible [Amy said I could do it but seriously doubted that I'd ever get that low... "maybe 220, 230 as a low end weight, after all you're a big guy"], named the chin-hair "The Wisdom Goatee", made it into the 'one hundred & somethings' on 9/7/08, got cold feet about the Wisdom Goatee, seriously wondered/worried what lurked underneath it [double chin?, a neck?, a small family from Outer Mongolia?], went to shave it 10 times per day since the 7th of September and couldn't... finally, last night, told the girls "I'm going upstairs to change out of my riding clothes and go pee, be right back".  And shaved it.  Yep, I got more neck than I ever thought possible.  Even an Adam's Apple that scoots up and down when I talk and swallow... but -unfortunately & also- a Turkey Waddle [Amy has wanted to beat the snot out of me every time I've said that phrase out loud since last night... her words on the subject: "Another sign of what you've been through and all the amazing work you've done and continue to do"] that makes me look like an 89 year old Yugoslavian woman.  I'm growing something [anything] back as quickly as my testosterone allows. 

In other news, still no PDX gig but looks better than great that we are on for a late Sept/early Oct move still.

Get this... Berkeley, Oakland or Walnut Creek:

as in California. 

Long story, but the agency that Amy is in with has positions for her in those locales right now [not next month, not next year: NOW].  So, Northern Cali here we come.  We'll be closer to PDX when the time is right.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Sometimes You Must->

...because  you can.

Last night, headed out with a hint of celebration in me and a plan:

Travel toward the river in Saint Paul and back [to a caffe shop in Minneapolis to meet the girls], 60 minutes, biggest gear I got, no shifting.

First off, not something I'd generally do everyday... lots of hills, and these 44 year old knees aren't made from space-aged polymers.  But, as a kind of 'Every-Once-In-A-While' thing... sure, why not?

This ride of 16.7 miles was so glorious, deep and profound for me [sure, could have been the night air, the smell of Fall coming into me, the occasional wood smoke wafting into my nose from fireplaces of the older and stately homes in The Saint Paul] that at one point, I began to cry.  Everything felt so good, so perfect... the perfection of effort to speed to wind to whirling of my freewheel: I literally began crying and thanking everything that has come to pass to allow someone so swamped with having given up just 2 years & 9 months ago... to This??  It was all too much.  Why did that switch get flipped in my mind?  Who did it?  Who [and how] do I thank for all this?

I owe so much to so many... I am completely indebted to a vast number of amazing, caring, loving people and their infinite spirit.  I am at a loss as to how to ever begin to even consider showing them what they mean to me.  Words would never be enough/there aren't enough actions.

I arrived at that caffe shop to see two of those [many] people sitting & waiting, smiling at me.  A smile and "Daddy, a few years ago I remember you just always sitting... sitting and looking concerned and sad.  Now, look!  You go, and go, and go."   

It took me 63 minutes to find their glowing faces.

There is still work that needs doing.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Donner Party...

To say life has been a touch stressful lately would be a vast understatement... setting things into play for our arrival in Portland, finding housing, Amy finding a gig, phone/Net interviews, selling stuff, setting up movers, figuring out if our car can make the trip on the road or if we need to rent one [$1000.00 + gas for 3 days from here to there?!?!], applying and paying for Amy's Oregon nursing license, saying goodbye to great friends, feeling the pressure of getting on the road within days of Amy's last workday here, money/money/money:

and then she was able to find a great job... and now, that gig has fallen through.

Her Oregon license should be here soon, but now there's no gig [and still no housing].

...and all of this under the microscope of locals telling us, "Just be sure to get out of town before the end of September otherwise the mountain passes in the Rockies will become treacherous with the possibility of early snows".  Urgh...

So, we are not sure what to do.  We had a serious sit-down last night and made this plan:

1.  Could be another month, or the end of winter, but we are staying put until enough details come into play that we aren't doing this move blind.  Too many unknowns and feeling way too old for so many question marks.
2.  When a position comes up for Amy we will weigh it against the weather and time constraints, and then decide.
3.  So... we're -at minimum- here for some of the winter it seems/and -at maximum- here beyond that.

Trying to put a good spin on this... we love the city, the cycling, our rental house, our friends and the seasons [excluding winter].

Trying to downplay the negatives but failing: I did not want to ride thru another winter like the last one [and many say it's gonna be much worse], I am beyond disappointed, feeling a bit failed, am not looking forward to freezing during rides, spending 45 minutes preparing for a ride, having to unfreeze eyelids during rides... all of it and much I'm certain I am forgetting in the name of self-preservation.

Factoring in the obvious: glad I didn't sell off the studded tires.

Feeling pissed beyond words, so enough words.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Silhouette...

Today was Weigh-In day around here.  I broke on through...

Weight:  192.8 pounds

Weight on Last Weigh-In [July 27th, 2008]:  200.8 pounds

Loss Of:  8.0 pounds

Total Loss Since November, 2005:  308.2 pounds

Celebrated the anticipation of today's weigh-in with converting my BBC over to 'Stache Bars.  As I kinda figured, I began missing riding the whip that brought me to this dance... so it was time:

Still need to wrap the bars, but did add a nice touch with some NOS Campy levers.

In other news, had a wonderful Going-Away Party last night that was attended by many, many great friends.  I'll do a write-up and fotorial soon on that one [as soon as Amy, Chloe & me get the place cleaned up, explain things to the police and apologize to all our neighbors].

Going out for a nice celebratory ride!

Keep Ridin'... Always