Large Fella on a Bike

Things about Trees, Cars, Pants & Wool

Lets start out with some goodies I got from Rivendell, actually the first bits of clothing from anywhere in years that weren't purchased from Bar-Bar The Tent Maker [i.e. Big-n-Tall shops... i.e.i.e. 'I Am Fat And Cannot Find Shit Elsewhere' shops].

Purchased a pair of their 100% wool long john/tights... sweet.  Extremely comfy and I've been wearing them for riding, hanging out and even to bed the last two nights because of our furnace being out and... well, the weather has been not nice around these parts, but more about that down below.

Also got 2 pairs of the Rivendell MUSA pants.  Again, excellent.  Quality, price, fit... and they feel great on the bike [which they should of course-as Grant designed them for riding].  I dig them much.

Also, some wool gloves with traction dots.  Toasty warm but I can feel the wind and chill coming through them so I need something else or more... or at least liners.

Okay, onto the weather...

Ain't been pretty.  High winds [up to 50mph at times] with seriously huge amounts of rain.  No riding for 2 days... and that's bugging the piss out of me too.  50mph headwinds + flying debris is perhaps too much for me.  Who knows... maybe I'm being a pussy but after yesterday morning I decided to wait things out.

And now onto the Cars & Trees portion...

Yesterday morning I am making B-Fast when I hear our car alarm go off.  No biggie as a lot of things around here can trigger it [and often do] like: trucks, buses, choppers, etc.  A couple minutes later it's still screaming though and then Chloe yells, "Daddy!!  You better come here QUICK!!"  Yikes, what happened?
I look out the window and see, across the street, that a rather large tree limb with many smaller sub-limbs has fallen off a tree from the wind gusts and landed half on/half off our car.  A boatload of power lines have come down with it and it doesn't look good.  I call 911 and report it and go outside to see what's going on and to try my civic best to direct traffic away from the mess.

While out there 5 cars ignore me standing in the street waving my arms frantically and saying/mouthing "Turn around... TURN AROUND... T U R N  AAAA R O U N DDDDD" to any & all cars.  3 SUV's and their drivers flip me off and drive right into the power lines, too bad they didn't get their asses deep fried.  So much for trying to be a Good Samaritan.

Finally the fire dept. shows up and looks around.  They are mostly talking about some basketball game they watched the night before on tv and trash-talking one another about bets.  Cool.  One guys says to the other, "Hey you think the lines are hot?" and the other guy says, "Dunno, lemme grab 'em and see".  They are chuckle and the guy grabs them and starts shaking.  They all begin laughing and then cut the lines and move the huge branch away from our car and start getting back in their truck.  I ask them if they shouldn't cut the tree down as it was leaning badly every time a gust came up [which was about every 45 seconds]... they told me they weren't authorized to make those decisions and that the Parks & Recreation Dept. would have to make that call and act accordingly.  Nice.  They get in and drive away.

Amy & our neighbor, who lives below us in the garden apt, walk over and look at our car from the front.  As they are standing there, I hear this huge C R A C K coming from behind them and look over to see the tree sheer in half and start falling... directly above them both.  Top of my lungs I yell, YO RUN!!!!!!!! which of course they were doing anyway, regardless of my informed verbalizations.  Fortunately, thank Arbor Day, they made it... but this piece was even larger, and sadly, didn't sorta miss our car but nailed the fucker directly, right down the middle.  The weight of this particular hunk of tree was such that as I stood there and watched this whole thing go down, the car actually bounced twice when the full weight of this chunk landed on our car: first bounce made all 4 tires actually leave the asphalt by about a foot & a half, car came down and bounced right back up-all 4 wheels leaving the ground by about a half a foot this time.  All the lights came on... including the alarm.  :-|

For your viewing pleasure:

So... back on the phone to 911 and the fire dept.  They show back up and kinda look apologetically sheepish, especially when I asked them if Dunkin Doughnuts was having a sale.

While they determined if the next batch of lines were hot or not, I pondered the meaning of, "To Serve & Protect" and 911 in general.

I also kept my eyes peeled skyward with every gust because it was truly scary out there...

Finally we went over to survey the damage of a direct hit onto our Swedish Brick...

In the end, besides missing a lot of trim and assorted cosmetic bits, and-for some reason-the right side parking lights on the car insist on staying on regardless of us turning them on or off... ignition on or not, things weren't bad.  Not bad at all really.

So... in the end, we are seriously starting to think this was an omen leaning heavily toward living Carfree.

Hmmmmm?

Less Me...

Got some new clothes from Rivendell from Mr. UPS Guy today, first time I haven't purchased from the dreaded Big-n-Tall onslaught in 17 years...

but before I tried 'em on, and even though it was still another two weeks until our loosely informal weigh-in schedule of every 6 weeks or so, decided I would see what The Scale had to say about all this brouhaha.

It spoke swiftly & resoundingly, another 15.2 pounds of Me... GONE.  Dig it.  S'pose if I had been a tad more patient it would have been around 22 and some change.  But I'll take it, Thank You.  ;-]

That makes for, officially speaking, 150 pounds of me gone in 11 months.

Amy decided to step on up too.  She wasn't disappointed either... 3.8 pounds of her, GONE.  She's lost 49.5 pounds total.  I am so absolutely proud of her I could pop... she looks fabulous and 101% amazing in clothes she hasn't been able to wear in years...

HOT.  Seriously.

In other news...

Amy ordered me up an early X-mas gift as a kind of 'For-All-That-Riding-You-Do' gift.  A pair of Paul Comp Engineering canti-brakes.  One Neo-Retro for up front and one Touring for the rear.  Very excited to get 'em... should be seeing them top o' next week. 

Nothing like Stopping with Style & Class.

The Plan Begins...

At the absolute outside, June 1st is the move date.  Hopefully before... gobs of stuff to accomplish first though:

Trip out to see the Twin Cities, ride some, meet folks, look at houses, check out various neighborhoods and interview at one or two hospitals.  Apply for a Minnesota RN License [that'd be for Amy, not me].

Sell a ton of stuff:

Washer/Dryer
Furniture
Shelves
some spare drums and cymbals... raise funds.  We are going to move Light as in, only bikes, clothes, toys, musical instruments, us and the cat.  Smallish truck... perhaps even sell the car, and once we settle in buy furniture, etc.  Probably not a car, but that'll depend a lot on where we reside and where Amy can find a gig.

Hopefully we can swing some time away in early December to visit and do the first stage of checking things out, possibly do some interviews and hang out & see the sights + visit with Prince and his New Power Generation.  Me and him, we are tight.

Really tight.

Wool Gloves?

Currently I'm using a pair of LL.Bean gloves for cold-weather riding and while they are keeping my hands warm... they are like serious sweat buckets [definitely some synthetics in them].

Anyone out there have some recommendations for natural fiber cold weather gloves [Wool perhaps] that can do the job down into single digits, keep ones paws toasty and not be serious sweat chambers on thy digits?

Anyone??

Hello?

98% Relocation Blues

Finally we have enacted a plan to relocate and are now more certain than ever as to the location as well [we've found that actually having a location to relocate to helps the process along greatly].

As of now our plan is to be out by May of 2007 but it could be as soon as Jan or Feb of the new year.

Oh, sorry... yeah, the location eh?

The Twin Cities.  Contact the media, I'm sure they will want a Heads Up.

Open Letter to Grant Petersen...

Thank You.

Thank You for doing what you do, and that by doing what it is that you do you have kept a lot of very good things alive & kicking in an ever-increasing sea of really worthless crapola.

Thank You for giving a shit when other 'companies' do not.

Thank You for reminding me that the act of commerce needn't be completely a distasteful thing that involves blind eyes, backhanded snickering, foisting more coal into the Stuff Furnace of Life, and being exclusively about The Almighty Green.

Thank You for caring that something that interests you, and that your company doesn't sell or profit from, makes it into or onto your catalogs, Readers & website.

Thank You for not bagging and packing it in because it's always an uphill Deathmarch.

Thank You for not being [too?] offended that folks like me poke good-natured fun at you & your company, and that in the end [hopefully] you do truly know that it was meant with respect and not the opposite... and that stuff Like This can go down while at the same time people like me spend some scratch [or at least serious scratch to me & my family] doing business with you over the years.

Thank You for not answering my last email... the one I sent making sure that you understood my motives for the last Thank You.

Thank You for listening to the needs of a few large folks who wanted something nice & sturdy to ride... so much so, that even though you tossed off the project to someone else who is charging too much for the cycle [and largely because it is over-done in a number of ways], you got the ball rolling when I suspect strongly, no one else would have ever done the same.  Ever.

Thank You for sending me the prototype bike to try out, and sorry that I never really got around to talking to you about my thoughts on it [reason being-you had already handed it off to that other company and it seemed like a 'Closed Book' so I figured my thoughts wouldn't have really made any difference at that point anyway].  But Thank You anyway... I mean that too.

Thank You for considering a nice selection of clothing in Wool for the larger types like me.  [wink]

Thank You for being so large in my mind when I returned to cycling and being a cycler after years of not having been on one or one, abusing the snot out of my body... and at the same time allowing me to re-find the Love that I had when I'd straddle my Bridgestone Kabuki back in '75 as a kid [even though, I know, I know... you had zilch to do with those bikes-but many of those bits, philosophically & otherwise, are still on your menu].

Thank You for my finding you & your company when, in 2003 at 475 pounds-nearly defeated with Life & ready to check into the Dirt Motel, I stumbled across your site and not only saw all the bikes & bike stuff of my youth, but more importantly realized I didn't have to go buy an aluminum-framed hybrid bike to ride... that yes, I could have my beloved Steel & Lugs, and ride it too.  Thanks a lot for that... I really mean that too.

Thank You for still being around in 2004/2005 when, at 501 pounds I had made a decision to either change it all or die by my own hand [because nature was going to take my ass out anyway], you reminded me that it was all there if I wanted it.  I did.  I do.  I am.

Thank You for keeping the flame alive and at least to some small degree inspiring cats like Curt Goodrich & Bob Brown to do what it is they do... because even though I don't ride a Rivendell custom but did own 3 different Atlantis' at one time, I took much of your philosophical & aesthetic jones and went to Bob Brown with it... and he did his magic. 

And that bit of magic has been my personal transformation vehicle to movement, freedom, independence as well as 138+ pounds [and counting] of Me-Loss, a shitload of Hopes, Dreams & Plans.

For all that, and probably much more...

Thanks, Grant.  I think you're a good cat.

Enter Ball Cracker...

Last night kicked off the first ride of the Ball Cracking Season at a nice, brisk 40 degrees in the dark... took my thoughts back to all the rides during the Summer when, even at 1 or 2 am, I'd be amidst many Ricers and the thoughtful, informed drivers sitting in them.  Ahhh, the true Joys of Summer.

And now for something completely dorky and silly...

Mid-October...

40 degrees with 15mph gusts?

...and it's still dropping?

Women, Children & Nefarious Types: fear The Dickheaded Ninja.

It was a great ride though... quiet, peaceful and lots of time for reflection as well as *thoughts toward the future*.

Keep Grooving...

*=not sure what the fuck that means... but it sounded good

Snot, Sunshine & Vacation Days...

We are nearly at the end of Amy's 17 days off from work, and of course all of us had to get sick... some of us [Chloe & me] twice but...
we also had a complete blast [when we weren't miserable with coughing, snot dripping and sore throats].

In these past 17 days we celebrated 3 birthdays, drove to Vermont for a hang & mini-vacation with some friends, rode a bunch and took plenty o' snaps.  Here are a some selected pics:

Chloe wanted [and received] some Hemp Twine


She also asked for a rain suit for riding and a Rivendell A. Homer Hilsen cap


and attained Enlightenment as a result of...


scoring her very own iPod [along with one for mommy too].

We had lots of beautiful sunshine around here too...



Peace & Blessings...

keep Riding.

B-Days Come & B-Days Go...

Well it's official...

I am 43, Amy is 41 and Chloe is 7.  The Big 3 in Birthdays are done for another glorious year.  As far as my B-Day is concerned... it can go fuck itself.  I dig the tidings, the gifts, the family-no problems there... but the age thing, that is starting to seriously bug me.

We've been busy...

Lots of riding and I even got around to equipping all of the goodies I gifted to my Gals for their B-Days... and miracle of miracles, even took some snaps too:
Amy's Nigel Smythe Bag

Her spiffy new 'Tea Pot' Bell

and just one pretty bike...

And then I was able to get to Chloe's Piccolo too and do the required upgrades & bling'ege requested by a freshly minted 7 year old:
Bee-Hive Bell

Pink Cork Tape/6-Speed Friction Shifter/Bee-Hive Bell

...and an Elephant Trunk w/leftover Cork Tape

She was thrilled with the end result [so I was too] and she's a whiz... one 3 minute lesson on friction shifting and she was shifting & trimming off like a Pro!

Off for a ride...

keep grooving.

Sometimes, it's almost too much...

Went for a ride last night and while it started out ok, it quickly went right into the shitpot.

Only 3 miles into it and I had collected the 'wisdom' of 2 morons [i.e. sneers, jabs & jeers at my size, so fun as always] and within 6 miles... another 4 brain surgeons apparently felt the need to share their thoughts on my girth in an effort, I guess, that I wasn't aware of it:

all, via remarks, laughter and the like.

My average for this kinda thing is like maybe 1 or 2 per ride but last night was a banner night for sure.  I even looked over at Amy and asked if it was a full moon or, that even though I was certain I was wearing clothing, perhaps I am truly feeling the effects of having just turned 43 so I was actually wearing, only my leopard print thong.  She confirmed it, "Nope, you're not in just your thong honey... you've got other clothes on too".  Sweeeet.

So, while breaking all my previous records for getting shit thrown at me verbally, we decided to ride on into Hoboken so Chloe could spend some time at one of her new favorite parks.

We are riding under this NJ Transit railroad overpass, very dark street, bitchload of potholes & broken glass, only way into Hoboken for us though... and as such, we always take the North-bound lane. I mean... "take" literally, as in 'it is ours'.  It has the least amount of glass and debris... and the potholes lessen near the double yellow line in the middle of the street so while we ride in the correct lane-we ride near the center yellow lines... in, what would be the plot of asphalt normally occupied by a motor vehicle's left wheels.

It's also, exactly, precise, 100 yards long.

Okay with that as background, follow along...

As we near the overpass a sizable NY Times delivery truck comes up behind us, simply crosses over the yellow line, around us, and continues on.  No problem.  There is zero oncoming traffic heading Southbound [toward us].  With Chloe and me in the lead and Amy following about 20 feet behind, we start under the overpass, I glance up into my helmet-mounted mirror and see 2 smallish headlights coming from behind.  I turn my head back over my shoulder and ask Chloe to tell mommy that she's "got one coming".  I hear Chloe shout back, "Mom, car behind" and Amy replies with, "Okay... see it".

Immediately after that exchange I hear, what has to be, a Japanese-manufactured car horn start blaring.  It doesn't stop.  NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and it keeps going and going and going.
I look into my mirror when I can, still avoiding all the potholes, checking traffic, etc... and see a black Honda Accord swing around Amy, horn still going.  In the smallish 20 feet gap between Amy and Chloe & me, the Honda swings in behind me and keeps the horn on, as it gets way too close to Chloe's wheel of her Piccolo, it swings out into the Southbound lane-again with no traffic-and with horn still blaring, swings back in front of me.
Finally they stop the horn.  It was like a fucking echo-chamber underneath that overpass though, LOUD!!!  50 feet ahead, at the intersection, the light is red and the Honda is behind the NY Times truck waiting for the left hand turn light.  As I approach I slow up and go by the passenger side very slow, bending down to look in at the driver.  White dude, maybe 22-23 years old, standard Wigger-look, going for the Jay-Z meets Eminem thing.  Honda's rusted with bumble-bee exhaust... standard white boy attempt at a Ricer.  Poor confused little kid.
He's locked on staring out the driver side window obviously to avoid making eye contact with me.  As I go past, very slowly, I keep looking... finally, when he thinks I must be looking straight ahead, he brings his face back around toward his windshield but I'm still looking back at him.  We make direct eye contact.  He moves his eyes toward his steering wheel...

I notice he's got a sunroof and it's open so I yell "What's your problem?" and he hits horn again, 4 times in a row and smiles some smartass smile.  I shoot him the bird and yell, "Fuck You" [which I ain't proud of at all... it was completely a gut-base reaction and I am really pissed that I let that fly at all, let alone with Chloe on board].  By this point the three of us are at the intersection so I can barely hear his muffled cries of "No, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU" and then he starts on the horn again.

As we go east after our turn at the intersection and he goes west, we could still hear his horn for another 2 minutes fading off into the otherwise quiet evening air.

I get a big "pfffft" for throwing the F-Bomb in front of my daughter, and I need to suss that shit out but what is going on??  Why would this peckerweed do that?  It completely unnerved me.  We rode to Chloe's park, she played and had a great time.  She asked me what the word was I shouted at the "boy in the black car who was mean to us" and I said it was a bad Italian word [*apologies to the Italians*] that means "You're bad, drive nicely and mind your own business".  She said, "Oh" and that was that. 

Amy kept trying to talk to me and calm me down but I just sat on a park bench with my head hanging down looking at my shoes feeling deflated and counted the minutes until we could leave and get home.  Once home... I parked my bike and went to bed while they stayed up and played.

6 nasty shouts at me in one night is a lot but I can usually handle that and find a decent place in me to lock that crap away... but then the kid in the Honda.

It was too much.

Sometimes... I get really tired of being a target for people to launch shit at.  And on top of that, to feel completely responsible for the safety of my family too...

it's unbearable.