A lot of bad out there, but there's a lot of good too.
Tons of loneliness & pain, also though... there's much hope intertwined together.
People are trying, and some aren't.
Big plans never get off the ground while small ideas sprout into huge trees of change.
I tell folks, but mainly Chloe [because she's young enough, not jaded, not peeved, not willing to give into the ways of most adults], "You keep going & pushing, you stay honest and straight on your path in your heart & brain, you keep seeing all the good while taking in the bad in a way that lets you recall it for change & hope... and you'll make your place in this world."
I, sometimes, forget my own words though so it's good to have a smart, young, honest, fearless daughter: they remind you of what you once said. It's good.
Life gets lonely... I have friends who have lost people, I have lost people, but mostly they, me, probably You... well, we try our best to carry on through the darkness.
On this, the Eve of Christmas 2010 [all of ours, our last one, we will never get another for 2010, maybe try and remember that], I am reminded of many memories: my childhood, the little thoughts [like sleeplessness, that kind of excitement that exceeds word or sense, that need to Know and Experience something huge]... and the call for yearning, for doing better. Always, Better.
I miss too much to list, I will miss much from today & tomorrow by next year, I am already & set to begin missing next year & the year after that too... it's our nature: re-call is only so big [be it both: thankfully, & sadly to our detriment].
I don't look forward to bought-gifts any longer... it's different for me at 47 years old these days. No, I look forward to watching those I love, those I know, those I don't know yet, smile. I look forward to experiences and then, someday, the dusty-but always amazing, memories.
I am shooting for something here, right now, within these words I am typing, and as usual I am missing my mark, but I am trying... maybe it will resonate, maybe not.
Maybe it's The Gift? The Gift is maybe just that: The Memories, The Experiences, The Love & Smiles?
I didn't nail it, I tried, sorry.
Here's one though:
I am always trying for something better, and I hope all of you are too. If we all do, together, something great is going to happen and then... we all have it, the experience-together: as One.
Enjoy, all of It. I need reminding of this.
Peace & Love,