A lot of bad out there, but there's a lot of good too.
Tons of loneliness & pain, also though... there's much hope intertwined together.
People are trying, and some aren't.
Big plans never get off the ground while small ideas sprout into huge trees of change.
I tell folks, but mainly Chloe [because she's young enough, not jaded, not peeved, not willing to give into the ways of most adults], "You keep going & pushing, you stay honest and straight on your path in your heart & brain, you keep seeing all the good while taking in the bad in a way that lets you recall it for change & hope... and you'll make your place in this world."
I, sometimes, forget my own words though so it's good to have a smart, young, honest, fearless daughter: they remind you of what you once said. It's good.
Life gets lonely... I have friends who have lost people, I have lost people, but mostly they, me, probably You... well, we try our best to carry on through the darkness.
On this, the Eve of Christmas 2010 [all of ours, our last one, we will never get another for 2010, maybe try and remember that], I am reminded of many memories: my childhood, the little thoughts [like sleeplessness, that kind of excitement that exceeds word or sense, that need to Know and Experience something huge]... and the call for yearning, for doing better. Always, Better.
I miss too much to list, I will miss much from today & tomorrow by next year, I am already & set to begin missing next year & the year after that too... it's our nature: re-call is only so big [be it both: thankfully, & sadly to our detriment].
I don't look forward to bought-gifts any longer... it's different for me at 47 years old these days. No, I look forward to watching those I love, those I know, those I don't know yet, smile. I look forward to experiences and then, someday, the dusty-but always amazing, memories.
I am shooting for something here, right now, within these words I am typing, and as usual I am missing my mark, but I am trying... maybe it will resonate, maybe not.
Maybe it's The Gift? The Gift is maybe just that: The Memories, The Experiences, The Love & Smiles?
Maybe?
I didn't nail it, I tried, sorry.
Here's one though:
I am always trying for something better, and I hope all of you are too. If we all do, together, something great is going to happen and then... we all have it, the experience-together: as One.
Enjoy, all of It. I need reminding of this.
Peace & Love,
Scott
Scott - I'm glad you still take the time to put your thoughts into words, and then to share those words with us. Merry Christmas & Peace in the New Year. Here's to the Something Better.
- Jim
Posted by: JIm | December 25, 2010 at 10:16 AM
It resonates with me. Maybe it's because I, too, am 47. Thanks!
Posted by: Marcy | December 25, 2010 at 07:54 PM
The stuff of life, isn't stuff. Merry Christmas
Posted by: Nubo Timeless | December 25, 2010 at 11:23 PM
Scott, you give a shit. That's your burden. That makes you special but doesn't give you any special powers. Don't take yourself too seriously, because there's only so much you can do. Seek those who share your values so you know you're not alone. Never forget that those close to you love you and need you even if they don't see the world just the way you do. Keep shooting for something, because we all need help finding the target.
Posted by: Al Mollitor | December 26, 2010 at 04:16 PM
Scott,
Just took a look for the halibut and - boom- you're back. Cool.
I turned 60 this year (ouch), riding more. If you are in southern CA, let me know. Big house, kids both gone now, Em to Afghanistan and George to San Fran.
Good to read you again.
Posted by: Greg | December 27, 2010 at 01:09 PM